Reflections on Being American: November 6, 2024

I’m sitting at my desk on Wednesday morning, November 6, 2024, sipping coffee and reflecting on what it truly means to be American. And honestly, I’m having a hard time figuring out if I fit in.

I’m not so naïve to believe that all, or even most politicians are selfless champions of the public good. More often, personal agendas seem to take precedence over the well-being of the people. But here we are, with Donald Trump as our president once again. When the country’s direction feels out of step with my own values, it feels isolating — almost as if the idea of home is shifting into something unrecognizable.

Seeing someone in a role as symbolic as the presidency who doesn’t reflect any of the values I hold feels like a rejection of those values on a grand scale. When a leader’s values feel so out of sync with my own, it’s not just disappointing, it’s unsettling.

Leaders shape culture not only through policy, but through the behavior they model. When respect or empathy seem optional at the top, it sends a message downstream. It can almost feel like permission. Permission for attitudes and actions that, under other circumstances, would be unacceptable. It’s more than policy. It’s about identity.

I’m not perfect, shocker. I don’t have all the answers, and I know I have my own flaws, sometimes immense ones. But maybe that’s why this is so troubling. If I can recognize my own limitations, it feels reasonable to hope that those in positions of power might strive to set a better example.

It’s not about expecting perfection. It’s about modeling values that encourage growth, understanding, and respect, especially when that’s hard. Watching what feels like a shift in what’s considered acceptable is unsettling. When leaders mock adversaries or dismiss entire groups of people, those behaviors can be echoed and amplified.

Over time, this shapes culture. Hostility, division, and disrespect begin to feel justified, even patriotic. And that, more than any single policy decision, makes me question whether my values will ever align with the direction this country seems to be heading.

Then there’s the phrase people love to throw around: “Love it or leave it.” But is love really the right word? Love suggests blind loyalty, something that leaves little room for criticism or nuance. Relationships aren’t that simple, and neither is my relationship with America.

This is where my family lives. This is where I’ve built my life. These are my roots. Leaving isn’t simple, and staying doesn’t mean everything here aligns with who I am. Like most things in life, it’s complicated.

Maybe this isn’t about love at all, maybe it’s about hope. A hope that there’s still room to build something better, even when the road forward isn’t clear. But at the same time, I wonder how long someone can feel like a stranger in their own country before that hope starts to fade.